Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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