What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
