i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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