NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
