walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
