so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
