I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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