im having a threesome with these popsicles
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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