I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
smell my finger.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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