why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
