grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
