Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You have to summon your inner elephant
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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