they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
