Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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