That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
