Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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