Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
