I'm so fucking centered right now
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
