Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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