ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
