you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
