I hate your face
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize