Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
