dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
