Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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