I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
