Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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