Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
