Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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