Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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