Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
