defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
