I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
