I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
