hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
