I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just threw up on my dentist
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
