I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
