He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
