I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
