I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
