her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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