you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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