ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
