OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
