shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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