she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
