so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
