There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
