using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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