All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
