history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
