all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
