After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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