You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
