My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
